Ive been going for regular runs and getting ready for race for life, should be a good day
Motorbikechick, also known as Stacey, has tried to commit suicide tonight.
I live no where near her but called an ambulance for her and i believe she is now in hospital.
I know hardly anyone checks on here any more, but if you guys do read this, please pray for her safety, wellbeing and health.
We all love you Stacey.
It's like 2 hours until i see my therapist, but i dont feel i can wait that long. I need to see her, to get help right now.
I had the loveliest dream last night when i did sleep. It was basically my life, many years ago. How it could have been had i not developed an eating disorder.
Thats probably the worst dream- a missed dream that could have been reality.
Think thin girls. xxx
In other news. i am the world's greatest PIG. I started binging at 4am today. Great.
I have therapy in 3 hours. I am probably going to ask to go to in-patient. I've been forced into in-patient before and it was sheer hell. SHEER FUCKING HELL. I need this though, i cannot carry on like i am.
If that doesn't work then fuck it, seriously. Screw recovery alltogether. I shall starve until i am thin because i cannot do this anymore.
It's half six now. I want pasta. So i am going to go and make pasta.
- Fasting for as long as possible, and when i do eat, not going over 200 calories. Little to no exercise
- Staying under 500 calories a day and exercising vigorously each day.
THIS WEIGHT HAS TO BE GONE FROM ME NOW!
I know it's tough getting through the holidays when everyone around you is eating and you are really trying to not without anyone noticing.
Here's something that should help you guys, I found this site yesterday and have looked at it about amillion times already
Hope it helps
Much love and think thin <3
- Current Mood: hopeful
- Current Music:Liquid Dreams by O-town
How was everyone's day? Hope santa was good to you all! It's pretty sad i'm posting on an ana forum on christmas day but oh well!
Had a pretty cruddy christmas day, but boxing day is always amazing in my house, mainly because my grandparents come up, and they are my life!
After boxing day, diet shall start. On new years day, fasting and exercise shall commence with harsh brutality lol. 2009 will be my year.
On a plus note, i now no longer have any financial worries after my nan wrote me a cheque for £5000 for christmas! I'm feeling so lucky!